All too often time to refresh has to be forced upon me. I do not pencil that time into my schedule in advance like I do meetings and all my other (self-appointed) commitments. Professional development is one of my favorite forms of refreshment. It allows time to focus on myself and provides structured time to refocus on my professional life and passion. Last week we had forced professional development as we were mandated to attend a 6-hour, all-department staff retreat off-campus. The days leading up to the retreat I was dreading it and had a horrible attitude. It was making me exhausted. The night before the retreat, I made a decision. I was going to have a good attitude and I was going to enjoy what I learned about myself and others while at the retreat. I walked in determined to enjoy myself and I did just that. There are pictures, bruises and stories to prove it.
On a regular basis I hear the phrases, "If you do it for them, they will let you" and "Do it for them once and it becomes an expectation." I always say, "Yes, I know." Guess what I do?! I 'do it for them' almost every darn time. Queue exhaustion! There just isn't enough hours in the day to get everything done I need and WANT to do, in addition to everything else that others want. I must complete what I've started and committed to, but I have slowly been saying, "No" or "I cannot fit that in my schedule" when asked to add extra things. This is (and will always be) a work in progress. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither was my ability not to help and please others at the expense of my time.
At the end of this week I was beyond exhausted. Reflection has propelled me forward more than I could have ever hoped. A connection to my passion has been that driving force. I truly love my 'job.' I love the opportunities I have to interact with so many people and serve others. Most importantly, I love to be a part of the support system that allows others to grow, develop and pursue their passions every day.
Last night I stood on the sideline at a college soccer game being played at an MLS stadium. The ball was being passed from one player to another. The seconds were ticking off the clock. Emotion and tension filled the air. In that moment, reflection flooded my mind.
Did you ever imagine this would be your life? Look at where I am. Look at who I am surrounded by. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy life. I live my life surrounded by my passion daily. Don't let that change.Then my body tensed as the goalie made yet another crucial save and the seconds left in regulation steadily ticked away.
At last night's game everything I needed to succeed in a moment of personal exhaustion was present. I pushed myself forward. I did not let being tired allow me a one-way ticket to the couch for the evening. I reflected. I listened at the exact moment needed. I became refreshed. I left the office and work behind to enjoy the moment with those I serve in their element. I did not let my passion die. I will continue to serve. I will continue to provide support.
