Home for the Holidays

Traditional isn't the first word that comes to mind when you describe being home for the holidays with my family.
For starters, we celebrated Christmas on the 27th this year. No topic was off-limits and no comment was unspeakable. Manners, well, those were optional. Insults were abundant; therefore, so were eye rolls and gasps. Announcements and stories were elaborate and repetitive, filled with someone's version of 'facts.' Walla Walla Kid (our resident cowboy club sharpshooter) and his sidekicks called from Fortson to trigger the traditional 'First Bat' game, which Uncle Billy Bob lost.
This, however, is the true definition of our tradition. We aren't a cookie cutter family. We break the mold. We eat, drink and be merry. Some people's bellies jiggle like bowls full of jelly at every story, joke and funny face.
Really, how are we so different from every other family celebrating the Christmas season? Is this not most people's version of home for the holidays?

Family Road

It's about the relationships that you form as you follow life's path.

Change

Change is inevitable. It's the one constant in life. 

Change promotes learning, growth, development and improvement. You cannot continue to strive toward your goals, progress forward and achieve success without change. 

Change also brings challenge. Challenge tests our dedication, character, desire and values. Challenge creates an opportunity to prove you can and will succeed. 

Change cannot be controlled. Lack of control means the situation and circumstances are thrust upon us. The unexpected shift in direction creates vulnerability and a high need and opportunity for support.

As we travel down the road of change, it is important for our support network to be strong and make positive impacts. Change is when others need you most in order to maximize and make the best of a situation; during that time, be there!

All Bets Are Off

Sometimes life doesn't turn out exactly as you expect.

The year after high school several of the guys I graduated with made a list. The list detailed what they bet our life 'highlights' would be at our 10 year reunion. I had no part in making this list; but, I saw it after. I more or less just focused on what they had planned for me. Their plan for me... Businesswoman and committed soccer mom driving all the kids around in a pick-up truck married to R.M. (no luck in getting the name!). Basically, I'd be wearing the (suit) pants in the family 9 to 5 p.m. and passing out juice boxes and snacks to all the kids in tow after the work day. I would have also returned to eastern Washington to settle down without expanding my horizons beyond the undergrad years at Carroll.

There are 1.5 years until our 10 year reunion. The reality of my life... Not quite a businesswoman. Actually, not at all. I am definitely driven by my professional pursuits. But, I work in hybrid position created by higher education and atheltics. Also, I am far from a soccer mom. I don't have kids. Well, if you want to say I have kids, you're understanding that they are left on my door step at 17-19 years old and are kicked-out of my house after 4 to 5 years. I'm not driving kids to practice and giving them juice boxes. I do attend sporting events (including soccer) and support my 'kids' (aka students) like a faithful soccer mom. I don't hand out juice boxes, but sometimes I share a snack or meal with those 'kids.' I don't drive a pick-up either. I cruise around in my Escape. Then there's the whole married thing... yes, please insert the laughter here. Enough said about that. Finally, my horizons... they've been expanded; they didn't start and end between eastern Washington and Carroll. I did move back home when I left Helena, but only for a month. I then lived in Seattle for 8 weeks, followed by Montgomery for 1 year, Raleigh for 1 year and I've been in Logan for 2.5 years.

Needless to say, my life doesn't fit the 10 year reunion life highlights the guys had planned for me. At the time of their betting, I wouldn't have disagreed. Instead, I asked myself, "how do they have me pegged so well?!" I didn't understand how their bet aligned with my goals at the time so well. 

Fast forward 8.5 years... life didn't turn out how I expected. It turned out better and there is still another year and a half until I face my peers at our reunion and tell the guys the list of reasons 'all [their] bets are off' on me. 

Dream with Your Dream Team

The below quote images depict important life principles -- surround yourself with the greatest support system possible and continue to pursue your dreams. We should live by these principles every day. 

But, this is also perfect timing. The time is upon us of post-season football -- team bowl games, senior bowls, east-west shrine game, etc, etc. If players and coaches alike don't surround themselves with and utilize their support network, they will not maximize their potential and success. If players would have given up pee-wee games, high school, college, etc, etc when they dropped the ball, missed a tackle or earned 3rd string they wouldn't be where they are today.

At some point everyone stumbles. If you give up on a dream because you trip and it would take you longer to get to the finish line, you'll never reach the finish. Stumble and keep moving forward. When you stumble, let your support network lift you up and propel you forward. 

Cut the Lip Service

How can you expect to be credible if you talk the talk, but don't walk the walk?! If all you are going to do is talk, then cut the lip service. Tell others the truth, not what they want to hear. In the end, they will have a greater respect for you. 

If you integrate support and family into your conversation and statements, shouldn't those values be the forefront of your actions? When others most need (and deserve?!) your support shouldn't you be there? Your support and love should be unconditional for those you care about most, for those you call family.  Don't claim to be part of a 'family' if you cannot show up when it matters most. Don't claim to value support if you are not there when you are needed most. 

***

For five days individuals spoke of the importance of the greater family's support, thoughts and prayers. For five days two words, 'support' and 'family,' were intertwined in the conversations of all members of the university family and community family. All those individuals, they had the prime opportunity to walk the walk. But, was all the talk just lip service?!

At this point, I would say, if there was one competition the whole year you showed up to it was this Saturday. If there was one competition you were in your seat for when the team took the court, it was this Saturday. If you had to choose only one time the whole season to show in-person support, that day was Saturday. But, YOU, the individuals who used the words 'support' and 'family'... failed to walk the walk. You did a great job of talking the talk; but, when it mattered the most it was all lip service. 

I was completely disheartened when I walked into the arena on Saturday 15 minutes before tip off to see over half of the student section empty. And, for that matter, over half of the arena as a whole empty. To be detailed, as a took my seat next to a co-worker I said, "Can I just say that the fact that all these seats are empty right now really piss......" She cut me off before I could finish. She interrupted with, "Yes. Yes, you can. It's ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous." 

For all those students who said they couldn't show up to the game Saturday because of finals, let me tell you something, that's a POOR excuse. Yes, it's an excuse. It's not at all a reason, only an excuse. I work in academic support. I encourage good academic habits every day. I understand the gravity of finals on overall course grades. But, not attending the game to study is ridiculous.

Everyone needs to understand something... college is not only about getting good grades and understanding the X's and O's of the courses you're enrolled in. College is about growing as an individual and learning that there is so much more to life that just yourself. College is where you develop and refine your values. Where you define yourself as an individual. Where you learn the importance of family and support systems. Where you practice what you preach and learn the importance of cutting the lip service. 

For all of you who failed to realize that Saturday was about those REAL college life lessons, shame on you. Finals may be next week, but you failed the real test. The test of your growth and development as an individual; the test on the real purpose of college. You clearly have a lot left to learn. 

Those who arrive early or on-time and stood while applauding to say, "Welcome Home," deserve much praise. They deserve praise for understanding and learning the REAL life lessons. The students who were part of this cohort, they passed the real final this semester; the test on the real purpose of college. 

[And a whole separate, directed rant... If you were sitting in the arena and chose out of free will to not to stand and applause in honor of a true blessing, shame on you. You may have failed at the real life test more than those who didn't show up. Heck, say you're part of the 'support' team and you didn't acknowledge the gravity of the moment, you may simply not be a good, decent human being. When the opposing team stands in recognition and you - as a part of the 'family' - do not stand, you are making a bold statement. You clearly value one thing... lip service. You do not value family and you do not value support.]

***

A vital component of our growth is understanding the gravity of a moment. Some moments are far more meaningful, far more important than others. When a true blessing is upon you, do your part to be supportive. When it matters, be there. Do not practice lip service. Do not just talk the talk. Always do your part to walk the walk. When you stumble, find your footing and stand tall. Place one foot in front of the other and take a step. With each step you begin to walk the walk, even if at one moment you faltered. 

A Rhyme & A Reason

Some call it fate. Others call it destiny. Yet, some refer to it as divine intervention. Whatever IT is, I am convinced everything happens for a reason. There's some purpose and reasoning to why we're in a certain place at a certain time and why we make the choices that we do.

For me, the answer seems to keep going back to one thing... VALUES. Family. Support. Passion. There are more but those three values are so intertwined in the life that I could not separate them if I tried.

Family. I have said it countless times, life (at least mine) is all about relationships. Relationships mold, shape and guide your life. They help you learn and grow. Without relationships my life would have no direction.

Support. We do thise by serving others and positively impacting them as they grow and develop as individuals. In times of victory and celebration we stand along side others and uplift their success in the name of support. When we face trials and tribulations we stand, sit and kneel with others to progress and find strength in difficult times. This to we do in the name of support.

Passion. It is the fire within. It is what drives you. It is what propels you. If you have passion, you are fully invested and committed.

My passion is supporting my family. I am more than blessed to be in a position that allows me to do this every day. I am blessed to build, strengthen and focus on my relationships every day. I am blessed to be able to provide support to my family every day. I am blessed to pursue my passion every day.

***

Tonight, the importance of my values came full circle in many ways. It hit me all at once. It hit me hard.  The connection of thoughts and reflection is overwhelming. The below is a brief snapshot of how the importance of my values has come full circle tonight.

My co-worker, a fellow support staff member, two student-athletes and I went to a vision meeting for Fellowship of Christian Athletes. On the drive I read a tweet. A tweet that would change my mental state. A tweet that would provoke and shape a personal reflection.

The tweet indicated we should be praying for one of our basketball players and had a link to an article.

I was attending the meeting as a version of support. Support of those attending. Support of an initiative that I believe will greatly benefit those I interact with every day... those that I support... those that I have valued relationships with. I was at a faith-based meeting focused on the population I support while so many were compelled to start praying for one of our own. Was there a rhyme and a reason? I may not be able to explain why, but it was meant to be. There was a rhyme. There was a reason. Everything came full circle.

As I thought about the student mentioned in the tweet, it made me think of our last interaction. It was yesterday. He was at an outreach event with some teammates supporting a cause for those less fortunate in our community. I did not have to be there. But, I was. I was there to support our students as they supported our community. I am constantly told that my attendance is not critical, nor expected. Constantly told I can say 'no.' Constantly told to find a work-life balance. But, still, I was there. I was there to show support for my family because of my passion. I took photos at the outreach event. Tons of students came and went. I got no photos of some and was lucky to get one of others. For some unexplicable reason I had three photos of the student mentioned in the tweet. Is there a rhyme and a reason? I may not be able to explain why, yet there's some reason I took the photos I did. The 'light bulb' moment of this is when I saw another tweet. A message by a stranger that had a copy of my community outreach photos attached to encourage others to look at a photo of the student yesterday. He was smiling with his teammates as they served others. It's an image so many may need to see at this moment: A family with a common passion supporting each other and the community with their acts of kindness. Again, full circle.