Today someone asked me which one is harder... a foster child returning home after being their mom, even if for a short period of time, or seeing student-athletes graduate and move on to the next step in their life journey? That hit me hard. I decided it’s not a fair question because many people can’t truly comprehend one of those realities, let alone both options.
There are many people that do not truly understand what it’s like to be a foster parent. I, or other foster parents, can tell you snippets of stories to describe a day in the life as a foster parent. The microscope that’s on me is like nothing else; yes, including the front porch or fishbowl of college athletics. And, I don’t just have a kid or teen telling me they don’t like me when I make them shower or do homework or tell them theft or some other behavior isn’t acceptable. I also have a lot of other opinions and judgements being thrown my way from a wide range of people as I am trying to save a kid from drowning in one or many parts of their life. But, for many kids under my care, all they want is visits as often and as long as possible with their bio family and reunification as quickly as possible. These kids didn’t choose to live in foster care; given the choice, many would most likely pick living with any family and friends regardless of the opportunities or experiences I give them. And, if they are a “lucky one,” on the day they get to move home with a parent or parents, they are beyond happy and their excitement to officially be home far outweighs any tugging at their heartstrings about leaving me or the other people that have impacted them in recent months.
I know for many kids there will be lots of happiness and reasons to celebrate; but, I also know that for some the transition isn’t going to be all butterflies, rainbows and unicorns. I am happy to see kids go home, but it doesn’t mean I won’t miss them. I will miss them because they impacted me; they pushed me to learn and grow. Although the lessons learned may be different, I probably learned just as much from the kid(s), their parents and those that are watching me through the fishbowl as they learned from me.
Likewise to foster care, there aren’t many people who know and understand what it’s like to work in a role where you have a front seat to see young adults walk in your office on their first day (or years before their first day on a campus visit) as a student-athlete and watch their continued learning, struggles, victories, defeats, self-exploration, and growth. The change, growth and lessons learned aren’t just academic or athletic, they’re emotional, mental, personal, social, individual and everything in between. It doesn’t matter what happens during their one semester or five years as a student-athlete, they don’t leave the same person as when they arrived.
Seeing a student-athlete graduate is a cause for great celebration but it’s also hard... I see them walking the final steps in one of the many paths on their life journey. I know for many there will be great happiness and celebrations to follow; but, I also know that for some that transition isn’t going to be as smooth and picturesque. Graduation, transfer or leaving a team for any other path finds me wishing them well and praying for their future success, happiness and growth. I am happy to see them go and grow, but it doesn’t mean I won’t miss them. I will miss them because they impacted me; they pushed me to learn and grow. Although the lessons learned may have been different, I probably learn just as much from them as they learn from me.
So, you tell me... which is easier? Sending a child you’ve cared for home or sending off student-athlete graduates that are ready for the next exciting step in their journey?
There are many people that do not truly understand what it’s like to be a foster parent. I, or other foster parents, can tell you snippets of stories to describe a day in the life as a foster parent. The microscope that’s on me is like nothing else; yes, including the front porch or fishbowl of college athletics. And, I don’t just have a kid or teen telling me they don’t like me when I make them shower or do homework or tell them theft or some other behavior isn’t acceptable. I also have a lot of other opinions and judgements being thrown my way from a wide range of people as I am trying to save a kid from drowning in one or many parts of their life. But, for many kids under my care, all they want is visits as often and as long as possible with their bio family and reunification as quickly as possible. These kids didn’t choose to live in foster care; given the choice, many would most likely pick living with any family and friends regardless of the opportunities or experiences I give them. And, if they are a “lucky one,” on the day they get to move home with a parent or parents, they are beyond happy and their excitement to officially be home far outweighs any tugging at their heartstrings about leaving me or the other people that have impacted them in recent months.
I know for many kids there will be lots of happiness and reasons to celebrate; but, I also know that for some the transition isn’t going to be all butterflies, rainbows and unicorns. I am happy to see kids go home, but it doesn’t mean I won’t miss them. I will miss them because they impacted me; they pushed me to learn and grow. Although the lessons learned may be different, I probably learned just as much from the kid(s), their parents and those that are watching me through the fishbowl as they learned from me.
Likewise to foster care, there aren’t many people who know and understand what it’s like to work in a role where you have a front seat to see young adults walk in your office on their first day (or years before their first day on a campus visit) as a student-athlete and watch their continued learning, struggles, victories, defeats, self-exploration, and growth. The change, growth and lessons learned aren’t just academic or athletic, they’re emotional, mental, personal, social, individual and everything in between. It doesn’t matter what happens during their one semester or five years as a student-athlete, they don’t leave the same person as when they arrived.
Seeing a student-athlete graduate is a cause for great celebration but it’s also hard... I see them walking the final steps in one of the many paths on their life journey. I know for many there will be great happiness and celebrations to follow; but, I also know that for some that transition isn’t going to be as smooth and picturesque. Graduation, transfer or leaving a team for any other path finds me wishing them well and praying for their future success, happiness and growth. I am happy to see them go and grow, but it doesn’t mean I won’t miss them. I will miss them because they impacted me; they pushed me to learn and grow. Although the lessons learned may have been different, I probably learn just as much from them as they learn from me.
So, you tell me... which is easier? Sending a child you’ve cared for home or sending off student-athlete graduates that are ready for the next exciting step in their journey?
