There Are No Mulligans

Unfortunately each day doesn't have an optional reset button. You can't call, "Mulligan," if you don't like the results of a day. You must finish the day and learn from it. 

Use a 'bad day' as a teaching moment. Reflect on what went 'wrong,' what could have gone better and what was actually within your control. Use the opportunity to prepare yourself to respond differently and improve your interactions in future similar situations. It's the difficult times when we struggle and fall to our knees that we have the most opportunity to learn. 

If we fail to use the teaching moments, we have failed ourselves. We failed because we didn't use a chance to improve our actions, character and life. 

It's important to realize that a vital component of teaching moments is learning to utilize your resources. In countless instances, your resources are people. People that support you. People that love you unconditionally. People that care. They care about your happiness and your personal growth. Sometimes these people are your sounding board. Sometimes they are a source of comfort. Sometimes they are there to 'keep it real.' They may have to tell you exactly what you don't want to hear, but they are your greatest resources because they tell you what you need to hear.

On the days you're searching for the reset button, use your resources. Lean on the people that were put in your life to help you and support you as you grow. 

There are no Mulligans, but there are lessons to be learned. Take advantage of what's given to you -- the opportunity to grow. Most importantly, move forward. Tomorrow is a new day. Maximize the opportunity to grow tomorrow too. Grow daily, whether it's a great day or a 'Mulligan' day.

Home for the Holidays

Traditional isn't the first word that comes to mind when you describe being home for the holidays with my family.
For starters, we celebrated Christmas on the 27th this year. No topic was off-limits and no comment was unspeakable. Manners, well, those were optional. Insults were abundant; therefore, so were eye rolls and gasps. Announcements and stories were elaborate and repetitive, filled with someone's version of 'facts.' Walla Walla Kid (our resident cowboy club sharpshooter) and his sidekicks called from Fortson to trigger the traditional 'First Bat' game, which Uncle Billy Bob lost.
This, however, is the true definition of our tradition. We aren't a cookie cutter family. We break the mold. We eat, drink and be merry. Some people's bellies jiggle like bowls full of jelly at every story, joke and funny face.
Really, how are we so different from every other family celebrating the Christmas season? Is this not most people's version of home for the holidays?

Family Road

It's about the relationships that you form as you follow life's path.

Change

Change is inevitable. It's the one constant in life. 

Change promotes learning, growth, development and improvement. You cannot continue to strive toward your goals, progress forward and achieve success without change. 

Change also brings challenge. Challenge tests our dedication, character, desire and values. Challenge creates an opportunity to prove you can and will succeed. 

Change cannot be controlled. Lack of control means the situation and circumstances are thrust upon us. The unexpected shift in direction creates vulnerability and a high need and opportunity for support.

As we travel down the road of change, it is important for our support network to be strong and make positive impacts. Change is when others need you most in order to maximize and make the best of a situation; during that time, be there!

All Bets Are Off

Sometimes life doesn't turn out exactly as you expect.

The year after high school several of the guys I graduated with made a list. The list detailed what they bet our life 'highlights' would be at our 10 year reunion. I had no part in making this list; but, I saw it after. I more or less just focused on what they had planned for me. Their plan for me... Businesswoman and committed soccer mom driving all the kids around in a pick-up truck married to R.M. (no luck in getting the name!). Basically, I'd be wearing the (suit) pants in the family 9 to 5 p.m. and passing out juice boxes and snacks to all the kids in tow after the work day. I would have also returned to eastern Washington to settle down without expanding my horizons beyond the undergrad years at Carroll.

There are 1.5 years until our 10 year reunion. The reality of my life... Not quite a businesswoman. Actually, not at all. I am definitely driven by my professional pursuits. But, I work in hybrid position created by higher education and atheltics. Also, I am far from a soccer mom. I don't have kids. Well, if you want to say I have kids, you're understanding that they are left on my door step at 17-19 years old and are kicked-out of my house after 4 to 5 years. I'm not driving kids to practice and giving them juice boxes. I do attend sporting events (including soccer) and support my 'kids' (aka students) like a faithful soccer mom. I don't hand out juice boxes, but sometimes I share a snack or meal with those 'kids.' I don't drive a pick-up either. I cruise around in my Escape. Then there's the whole married thing... yes, please insert the laughter here. Enough said about that. Finally, my horizons... they've been expanded; they didn't start and end between eastern Washington and Carroll. I did move back home when I left Helena, but only for a month. I then lived in Seattle for 8 weeks, followed by Montgomery for 1 year, Raleigh for 1 year and I've been in Logan for 2.5 years.

Needless to say, my life doesn't fit the 10 year reunion life highlights the guys had planned for me. At the time of their betting, I wouldn't have disagreed. Instead, I asked myself, "how do they have me pegged so well?!" I didn't understand how their bet aligned with my goals at the time so well. 

Fast forward 8.5 years... life didn't turn out how I expected. It turned out better and there is still another year and a half until I face my peers at our reunion and tell the guys the list of reasons 'all [their] bets are off' on me. 

Dream with Your Dream Team

The below quote images depict important life principles -- surround yourself with the greatest support system possible and continue to pursue your dreams. We should live by these principles every day. 

But, this is also perfect timing. The time is upon us of post-season football -- team bowl games, senior bowls, east-west shrine game, etc, etc. If players and coaches alike don't surround themselves with and utilize their support network, they will not maximize their potential and success. If players would have given up pee-wee games, high school, college, etc, etc when they dropped the ball, missed a tackle or earned 3rd string they wouldn't be where they are today.

At some point everyone stumbles. If you give up on a dream because you trip and it would take you longer to get to the finish line, you'll never reach the finish. Stumble and keep moving forward. When you stumble, let your support network lift you up and propel you forward. 

Cut the Lip Service

How can you expect to be credible if you talk the talk, but don't walk the walk?! If all you are going to do is talk, then cut the lip service. Tell others the truth, not what they want to hear. In the end, they will have a greater respect for you. 

If you integrate support and family into your conversation and statements, shouldn't those values be the forefront of your actions? When others most need (and deserve?!) your support shouldn't you be there? Your support and love should be unconditional for those you care about most, for those you call family.  Don't claim to be part of a 'family' if you cannot show up when it matters most. Don't claim to value support if you are not there when you are needed most. 

***

For five days individuals spoke of the importance of the greater family's support, thoughts and prayers. For five days two words, 'support' and 'family,' were intertwined in the conversations of all members of the university family and community family. All those individuals, they had the prime opportunity to walk the walk. But, was all the talk just lip service?!

At this point, I would say, if there was one competition the whole year you showed up to it was this Saturday. If there was one competition you were in your seat for when the team took the court, it was this Saturday. If you had to choose only one time the whole season to show in-person support, that day was Saturday. But, YOU, the individuals who used the words 'support' and 'family'... failed to walk the walk. You did a great job of talking the talk; but, when it mattered the most it was all lip service. 

I was completely disheartened when I walked into the arena on Saturday 15 minutes before tip off to see over half of the student section empty. And, for that matter, over half of the arena as a whole empty. To be detailed, as a took my seat next to a co-worker I said, "Can I just say that the fact that all these seats are empty right now really piss......" She cut me off before I could finish. She interrupted with, "Yes. Yes, you can. It's ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous." 

For all those students who said they couldn't show up to the game Saturday because of finals, let me tell you something, that's a POOR excuse. Yes, it's an excuse. It's not at all a reason, only an excuse. I work in academic support. I encourage good academic habits every day. I understand the gravity of finals on overall course grades. But, not attending the game to study is ridiculous.

Everyone needs to understand something... college is not only about getting good grades and understanding the X's and O's of the courses you're enrolled in. College is about growing as an individual and learning that there is so much more to life that just yourself. College is where you develop and refine your values. Where you define yourself as an individual. Where you learn the importance of family and support systems. Where you practice what you preach and learn the importance of cutting the lip service. 

For all of you who failed to realize that Saturday was about those REAL college life lessons, shame on you. Finals may be next week, but you failed the real test. The test of your growth and development as an individual; the test on the real purpose of college. You clearly have a lot left to learn. 

Those who arrive early or on-time and stood while applauding to say, "Welcome Home," deserve much praise. They deserve praise for understanding and learning the REAL life lessons. The students who were part of this cohort, they passed the real final this semester; the test on the real purpose of college. 

[And a whole separate, directed rant... If you were sitting in the arena and chose out of free will to not to stand and applause in honor of a true blessing, shame on you. You may have failed at the real life test more than those who didn't show up. Heck, say you're part of the 'support' team and you didn't acknowledge the gravity of the moment, you may simply not be a good, decent human being. When the opposing team stands in recognition and you - as a part of the 'family' - do not stand, you are making a bold statement. You clearly value one thing... lip service. You do not value family and you do not value support.]

***

A vital component of our growth is understanding the gravity of a moment. Some moments are far more meaningful, far more important than others. When a true blessing is upon you, do your part to be supportive. When it matters, be there. Do not practice lip service. Do not just talk the talk. Always do your part to walk the walk. When you stumble, find your footing and stand tall. Place one foot in front of the other and take a step. With each step you begin to walk the walk, even if at one moment you faltered.