Wondering & Wandering

"Not all who wander are lost." ~ J. R. R. Tolkien

"Not until we're lost do we begin to find ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau

Ever feel as if you haven't gone anywere and haven't been searching for anything, but know you're lost? It's as if you know you don't have a defined direction leading you to live every moment in pursuing the good life, but there's nowhere to turn. 

Maybe, just maybe, through the wandering and wondering there will be an epiphany, a light at the end of the tunnel, some defining moment. In the meantime, put on a smile, be the best version of you, and be a powerful presence in the lives of your WHO. While searching and when found, have faith and live a life filled with unconditional love and support for your family. 

Family: A Blessing & A Distraction

Tonight I was asked a question. I knew my position and how I felt, but I could not articulate it to convey my exact message. The question was to the affect of:  What toxic environments exist that bring you down and create distractions in your pursuit of the Word and your relationship with God?

One of my core values is family. It's at the core of everything I do. Family is my value term for relationships. In my life there are three key types of relationships. First, my relationship with God. Second, my relationship with myself. Finally, my relationships with others. 

One reason I chose the word "family" over others to define what is foundational in my life is because of relationships with others. I prefer to operate with the belief that others deserve unconditional love and support. Others may choices contrary to how I would. They may have different values or goals than me. They may walk a different path. But, still, others should and will receive unconditional care. Even when others frustrate me, make me angry or upset me because of their actions or words, a love still exists. As I stumble and struggle with a relationship with others, I must pray, forgive and move foward in  the relationship. Anyone I love is part of my family. My family changes as I change. As I move through life, my family grows. Love has no capacity and neither does our family.

As for the three relationships, it starts with the 'self' relationship. I stand by the belief that you must first be able to find happiness and contentment within yourself. You need to love yourself unconditionally before you can build solid relationships with others filled with unconditional love and support. For me, a key to that relationship with myself is a foundation in faith and my first relationship -- the one with God. 

My "family" relationships with others are based on faith. God forgave our sins. He continues to love us unconditionally regardless of our actions and words. If we continue to open our hearts to him and accept Him, we will have a relationship. As I pursue a relationship with God, I falter. But, as I stumble I still try to be follow in the path of Christ. Part of following the path is a foundation in relationships. You "pour on the love" and share God's Word through relationships. Within my conviction is the understanding that you cannot demonstrate Christian qualities, such as unconditional love and support, or share the Word without interaction (and relationships) with others. 

The relationship with God himself, is foundational in my "family." It's a personal relationship requires I let Him into my heart. It is ever-growing and changing as I live a worldly life filled with distractions. It's also a relationship that should be shared with others. I can serve my Lord and Saviour by pouring into others however He chooses to use me. I also accept life as part of His family as a Christian. 

As I pursue my worldly passion day-to-day, I constantly encounter distractions. As others who are my superior or peers act in a way that does not focus on relationships and ask that I do the same, I am faced with a constant struggle. If I do not honor the importance of pouring into others, I am denying how I'm called to serve and my faith. If I focus on 'pushing paper' and simply pleasing others, I would also be making a conscious effort to let these distractions bring me down and push me further away from the family I want to be a part of. It's through "family," including the relationships I have with others, I can continue to remain strong in my faith and be reminded of His word. And, through prayer I can continue to seek guidance in how to best serve Him. 

I acknowledge and realize that it is often times the words and actions conveyed through relationships with others that create distractions and feed into a toxic environment. However, without relationships the "family" does not exist. I continue to pray that we will be surrounded with relationships that build us up and bring us closer to God and limit the distractions present. It's through Him we will overcome distractions that enter our path and be a strong member of His family. 

As I go forward, I pray that we are blessed as we pursue a life filled with unconditional love and support of others. And, that our hearts remain open so we can best serve others who are a part of His family, seek to a part of His family or that He seeks to be welcomed to his family. I pray that we continue to walk in faith as distractions try to interrupt our journey and pursuit of God. Amen. 

Relationships: The True Test of Faith

As soon as someone walks out of your life without actually leaving, you realize the impact and importance of relationships.

I continously say I value family. Family is the word I use for relationships. It is one of my core values. A foundational life principle.

The core of my foundation is rocked as my heart weighs heavy.

In all that I do, I seek to positively impact others and develop relationships. I attempt to build relationships through unconditional love and support. Yes, sometimes I do falter; but, I try. One foot in front of the other. When I fall, I get back up again. [Stop singing the song lyrics.]

I do not focus on relationships with only my family or my 'friends.' I place equal importance to all the relationships in my life. I am very fortunate that in my life, I am surrounded with hundreds of people on a daily baisis. Many of those people I see daily are not mere acquaintances. I invest time and energy to develop lasting, meaningful relationships.

Then, one day, it became obvious... others do not value relationships equally as much. The importance of relationships was thrown in my face. One day I was told I played an important role in your life and you value our relationship. The next day, silence. Value, well... what value?! My heart weights heavy as I realize how unimportant my role really was. Or, with others... how unimportant my role really IS.

As I question myself, I sink in my seat and the smile fades. I ask myself if I'm really meant to pursue my passion. I ask myself if I should focus my time and energy on something other than the relationships. Was the importance of my value thrown in my face for a reason? Is the relationship -- trust and faith in others, support of others, etc -- something I am not effective at. And, then the mind wanders to the question, if I'm not effective at it, should I stop wasting everyone's time? The doubt continues to fill my every thought.

Then, I pray about it. Each time I pray about it, I realize, again, it's about the relationships. It's about family. I'm praying because I have a relationship. The most important relationship. With this relationship, I realize my foundation is solid. I may face trying times. I may stumble. But, still, with a focus on the most important relationship that is Father of my family, I know my foundation will always hold strong against the greatest test.

Positive Impacts

As you journey through life's adventures, you will be faced with adversity and times of celebration. Through all the experiences, surround yourself with positive, uplifting people who will support your growth and success. The unconditional love and support you receive from family and friends is equally as important as the affect you have on someone else's life. Therefore, as you travel down life's path, always strive to have a positive impact in others' lives. Live the good life and guide others to live theirs'. 

There Are No Mulligans

Unfortunately each day doesn't have an optional reset button. You can't call, "Mulligan," if you don't like the results of a day. You must finish the day and learn from it. 

Use a 'bad day' as a teaching moment. Reflect on what went 'wrong,' what could have gone better and what was actually within your control. Use the opportunity to prepare yourself to respond differently and improve your interactions in future similar situations. It's the difficult times when we struggle and fall to our knees that we have the most opportunity to learn. 

If we fail to use the teaching moments, we have failed ourselves. We failed because we didn't use a chance to improve our actions, character and life. 

It's important to realize that a vital component of teaching moments is learning to utilize your resources. In countless instances, your resources are people. People that support you. People that love you unconditionally. People that care. They care about your happiness and your personal growth. Sometimes these people are your sounding board. Sometimes they are a source of comfort. Sometimes they are there to 'keep it real.' They may have to tell you exactly what you don't want to hear, but they are your greatest resources because they tell you what you need to hear.

On the days you're searching for the reset button, use your resources. Lean on the people that were put in your life to help you and support you as you grow. 

There are no Mulligans, but there are lessons to be learned. Take advantage of what's given to you -- the opportunity to grow. Most importantly, move forward. Tomorrow is a new day. Maximize the opportunity to grow tomorrow too. Grow daily, whether it's a great day or a 'Mulligan' day.

Home for the Holidays

Traditional isn't the first word that comes to mind when you describe being home for the holidays with my family.
For starters, we celebrated Christmas on the 27th this year. No topic was off-limits and no comment was unspeakable. Manners, well, those were optional. Insults were abundant; therefore, so were eye rolls and gasps. Announcements and stories were elaborate and repetitive, filled with someone's version of 'facts.' Walla Walla Kid (our resident cowboy club sharpshooter) and his sidekicks called from Fortson to trigger the traditional 'First Bat' game, which Uncle Billy Bob lost.
This, however, is the true definition of our tradition. We aren't a cookie cutter family. We break the mold. We eat, drink and be merry. Some people's bellies jiggle like bowls full of jelly at every story, joke and funny face.
Really, how are we so different from every other family celebrating the Christmas season? Is this not most people's version of home for the holidays?

Family Road

It's about the relationships that you form as you follow life's path.