Turn the Tassel & Say Goodbye

Life has a cycle... especially when you work in higher education. A new year starts and new people arrive. You rotate from one sports season and semester to the next. And, before you know it, it's commencement weekend. You celebrate the 4 to 5 year academic accomplishments of the graduates and say your goodbyes. Then, you catch your breath and prepare for new students to arrive in what seems like a few short weeks. 

There's a key to this cycle... relationships. As you go through each year, you build relationships. Some are stronger than others. Some are based on trust and love. Some are based on necessity. And, as you move from one year to another, so do many of the students, so those relationships continue to grow throughout their journey. 

Here's what I've learned. If you aren't in the relationship business, this life isn't for you and the cycle is lost on and with you. The other lesson that goes with this... the longer you live this life, the harder it is to say goodbye. But, it's important to realize, that's actually a blessing in disguise. Why? Because that means you were committed to building relationships. It means that you've dedicated yourself to serving others through trust, love and desire for them to succeed in meeting their goals. For many it goes without saying that one of their goals is to finish their tenure ready to pursue their dreams and passions, which more often than not involves walking across a stage in cap and gown, turning a tassel and moving away. This means, you say goodbye.

Goodbye means something different for everyone. For some, it means a sincere hand written note, for others it's a hug and tears, and for many it's seeing college life disappear into the distance through the rearview mirror with no words shared. In some cases, goodbye is really more of a see you later or talk to you soon. But, for many, there's no intention of reconnecting. 

This journey you're a part of, you have to understand it's not your own. As the cycle is completed, you have to accept that many students you commit time, energy and love to building relationships with will proudly walk across the stage, but you may not get a thank you or farewell. You many know struggles, secrets and dreams not shared with others, and that's your part in their journey. But, your part in their journey does not mean you've earned a goodbye you may want. It's not your story; it's theirs. Let them write their story and finish this cycle in their own way. 

Be confident that each thank you, kind word and thoughtful gesture along the way shows their gratitude for the role you've played in this chapter of their story. The cycle can be complete without a spoken goodbye. And, a goodbye doesn't mean a relationship has ended or your part in someone's journey has come to an end. So, share your congratulations and cheer on their continued pursuit of life goals and success.