After not being a reader for quite some time, I'm regaining an appreciation for time spent with my nose in a book. I just finished Sheryl Sandberg's "Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead."
Ever read a book and think, "This is talking directly to me!"? This is the second book within six months that has invoked this thought. The first was Beaudine's "The Power of Who." Although I have some of my own tweeks to his thought process, I have believed his main concepts for a while. Before reading his book, I just couldn't grasp how to articulate my thoughts on mentoring, circles of relationships and roles of varying people in your life. No need for me to articulate it though, Beaudine did just fine.
Then, there's "Lean In." I acknowledge there's issues with the gender complex in our societies and the world as a whole. It's a work in progress, which Sandberg articulates. But, through her words, I much more clear understanding for what was only a glimpse of understanding before. Her book and key points are made all the more powerful by research. I'm a number and figures gal. Per Persogenics, I'm dominant and analytical. Per DiSC, I'm conscientious and dominant. I'm that person that's grown up being told, "you're bossy" when I move forward with a well-formulated plan and refuse to sit on my hands or to be ordered around by boys. Regardless of my internal conflict, I try to move forward with confidence and stand my ground. Needless to say, how Sandberg presented leaning in through facts, figures, stories and personal accounts directly appealed to me and helped me to best learn and comprehend the concepts shared throughout her novel.
I've thought about my goals - professionally and personally. In all my thinking and planning, both types of goals have been integral to one another. I already know, without a doubt, I want to be a working mom. I want to have a career and want my [future] kids to see me pursue work I'm passionate about. I also want them to be involved in my pursuits. I know I want to have kids and be a loving, involved parent that's unconditionally supportive. In the most ideal world, I would continue to career in college athletics as I raise kids. I will take them to sporting events, family media days, and the sorts. They will not be blind to the industry and career I pursue. But, on the same token, I'll be able to leave work at work so I can take them to their own practices, games, lessons, parties, etc. As Sandberg suggests though, I don't want to leave before I leave. I want to allow flexibility to my plan that may change drastically. I want to be fully invested until I'm on my way to the delivery room and completely invested in my child and my work after I return from maternity leave. I hope with my pre-conceived ideas I'm ahead of the curve; I won't leave the game too early.
Then, there's another thing, mentoring. I learned a lot about my beliefs and perceptions on mentoring when I read Beaudine's book. But, then I learned even more about myself as I read "Lean In." I do not know that I've ever walked person to person asking, "Will you be my mentor?" But, I have invested myself in others and them in me. Those are some of my most powerful mentor relationships. At different points during my work day and personal time, if ever I'm doubting myself or don't have an instant reply, there's usually a voice in the back of mind. It's the voice of a mentor asking a key question or reiterating a key teaching point they previously made; those 'voices' lead me through my decision making. As Sandberg mentions, peer mentors are equally as important as vetran mentors. Some of my greatest sources of support, guidance and teaching are my peers. We have an equivalent or semi-equivalent title, we have almost the same number of years of experience, and we have great wisdom to share with one another. Also, as much as I want others to invest in me as a mentor, I want to give back and invest in others as a mentor. It's a cycle that should never be broken. There is no question - it's a give and take; you cannot function successfully without one or the other.
As I go forward each day, I hope I remember to lean in. And, in every situation I encounter, I hope I can remember that my personality and ambition in and of themselves directly challenge societal norms. I will face challenges and scrutiny everyday put in place by myself and others because of my gender, but only be leaning in and confronting those that discredit me and my approach because I'm a woman will I succeed.
Follow an example. Lead by example. Be an example.
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